When you were yet a maiden
And I was in my Prime
You saw me as your gallant knight
Sent from an older time
You thrilled as I fought dragons
You thrilled to see me fight
Your were my fair young maiden
and I your gallant knight
My armor from a distance
Seemed perfect in your eyes
You did not see the scars of war
Beneath my steel disguise
We’ve travelled so many desolate roads
So much we’ve yet to see
But now I wonder if you love me still
At past a quarter century
You know my every weakness
The closer we’ve become
The armor doesn’t shine as much
As when we first begun
The dragons that once thrilled you
As the same you’ve seen before
You wonder why the beasts still stand
If in fact I have waged war
The blemishes you thought would dissappear
Seem cancers on my skin
Friday, April 15, 2011
A Different Bed To Sleep In By Gary L. Holman
“She’d rather sleep with her anger than sleep with me” James’s words echoed off the night as the blue shadows painted the bedroom walls.
It was not the stone cold pillow beneath his heavy head that left him uncomfortable as much as it was the rumbling thoughts cascading within.
How had they gotten to this place? When had they become so readily adversarial? Who was this woman that he loved so desperately in spite of the hurt? How had the two of them transitioned from being friends who could hardly bear to be apart into these two people who could barely stand to be in the same room? Why were they so compelled to make this relationship survive?
Where was Tina with her soft brown hair, large chestnut eyes and easy smile? Where was the girl who had captured James heart so long ago? Jim had always loved the upturn of her full pink lips. He delighted how her smile brightened her whole face, and his.
James remembered the first time Tina had shared that smile with him; they were standing in line together at Long’s; the campus bookstore. The uncertainty of the pimply faced clerk trying to price “THE REASON OF MAN” has given James pause long enough to glance at the petite girl waiting in line behind him. “Sorry” he muttered. “I’m in no hurry”. Her words came softly, framed by the smile that caused her whole pixie face light-up. Something about the sparkle in her soft eyes caused Jim’s heart to skip. Instantly he was also slightly out of breath. “Only back to the dorm to study, I’m really not anxious to get back to “trig”. “$ 175.00 the awkward clerk interrupted, smacking his gum, as if for emphasis. “Is that with my student discount?”
Usually such ineptness would have been a cause for irritation, but at this moment, on this day, the delay gave Jim time to invite this goddess to spend a few more minutes with him. “Do you do coffee? I mean do you drink. . . “Yes, I love coffee, Tina offered. “Well, do you have time for a quick cup before returning to your studies? There’s The Java Cup just a few doors down the street. We could walk there if you like?” “Trig can wait Tina quickly answered, as if for reassurance Tina offered another smile.
The Java cup was currently the campus “hotspot”. The battered hole-in-the-wall was run by a couple seniors from the college’s school of business. The old storefront couldn’t really be much more battered dingy or depressing. What had been a tailor’s shop back when college students still needed such a place was run by a pudgy old man who wore his glasses down on his nose and colorful Hawaiian print shirts summer or winter.The harmless flirty old man was a part of the charm of campus for as far back and anyone could remember. He had passed on and the once vacant building was alive again.
A shiny brand new espresso machine pumped out cups of goodness upon an improvised counter where the old man’s treadle sewing machine had fascinated passer-bys for decades.
Just outside the front door at a throw-away table James fumbled to make conversations as Tina politely sipped her Caramel Machinate; skinny, no whip.
Tina was far more interesting to Jim than his “Javo Jo”; a large cup of Sumatra Coffee with two shots of espresso. The “Jo” was the legendary brew of “All Nighters” and “Morning Afters” which kept the dorm lights burning in this Midwestern college “cow town”.
Everything about Tina back on the day of their meeting seemed so perfect, from the way her gauzy peach top landscaped her smaller, firm breasts to the way her black kaki’s clung to her “walker’s butt and legs”. James instantly realized that this girl had no concept of how beautiful she was. He decided then and there that it would be his mission in life to help her realize that fact. James had found a flower to nourish.
The early Midwestern days gone by, was the spring of their love. Those were days of uncertain beginnings. Together they broke the ground of adulthood. As the crocus and daffodils fearlessly, but cautiously break the snows of winters past, so their passion melted their individual experiences, as cold and disappointing as they had been rewarding them both a promise of a beautiful summer's garden.
Devotion had led to love, love had led to marriage, marriage; children, children to a slow disintegration of the unity of the two, who had become one. Two became one and then three and soon four and somewhere between the sports, academics, scouts and the work required to pay for the domestic bliss, Jim and Tina became Mr. and Mrs. James and Christina Dunn, then Mom and Dad, Father and mother and eventually strangers. As they became Empty- Nester's, what was lost was absent from their hearts as well as their home.
Otherwise time had been kind to the two of them, relatively speaking. Both were paunchier and slower but James could still see a glimpse of the buoyant Tina peeking from within Christina occasionally when her doe eyes still sparkled. Jim's hair was no longer golden or shoulder length, but just as full as when he was six years out of high school as was his heart although lately, harsh words spoken in anger easily obscured it from his wife's sight.
"She'd rather sleep with her anger than with me" Jim said again out loud to no one in particular as he tried to make sense out of their fractured life.
"It's gonna be a long night and a long cold winter". Jim pulled the woolen duvet up tight against the cold. As he tossed once more and hoped for the arrival of spring.
It was not the stone cold pillow beneath his heavy head that left him uncomfortable as much as it was the rumbling thoughts cascading within.
How had they gotten to this place? When had they become so readily adversarial? Who was this woman that he loved so desperately in spite of the hurt? How had the two of them transitioned from being friends who could hardly bear to be apart into these two people who could barely stand to be in the same room? Why were they so compelled to make this relationship survive?
Where was Tina with her soft brown hair, large chestnut eyes and easy smile? Where was the girl who had captured James heart so long ago? Jim had always loved the upturn of her full pink lips. He delighted how her smile brightened her whole face, and his.
James remembered the first time Tina had shared that smile with him; they were standing in line together at Long’s; the campus bookstore. The uncertainty of the pimply faced clerk trying to price “THE REASON OF MAN” has given James pause long enough to glance at the petite girl waiting in line behind him. “Sorry” he muttered. “I’m in no hurry”. Her words came softly, framed by the smile that caused her whole pixie face light-up. Something about the sparkle in her soft eyes caused Jim’s heart to skip. Instantly he was also slightly out of breath. “Only back to the dorm to study, I’m really not anxious to get back to “trig”. “$ 175.00 the awkward clerk interrupted, smacking his gum, as if for emphasis. “Is that with my student discount?”
Usually such ineptness would have been a cause for irritation, but at this moment, on this day, the delay gave Jim time to invite this goddess to spend a few more minutes with him. “Do you do coffee? I mean do you drink. . . “Yes, I love coffee, Tina offered. “Well, do you have time for a quick cup before returning to your studies? There’s The Java Cup just a few doors down the street. We could walk there if you like?” “Trig can wait Tina quickly answered, as if for reassurance Tina offered another smile.
The Java cup was currently the campus “hotspot”. The battered hole-in-the-wall was run by a couple seniors from the college’s school of business. The old storefront couldn’t really be much more battered dingy or depressing. What had been a tailor’s shop back when college students still needed such a place was run by a pudgy old man who wore his glasses down on his nose and colorful Hawaiian print shirts summer or winter.The harmless flirty old man was a part of the charm of campus for as far back and anyone could remember. He had passed on and the once vacant building was alive again.
A shiny brand new espresso machine pumped out cups of goodness upon an improvised counter where the old man’s treadle sewing machine had fascinated passer-bys for decades.
Just outside the front door at a throw-away table James fumbled to make conversations as Tina politely sipped her Caramel Machinate; skinny, no whip.
Tina was far more interesting to Jim than his “Javo Jo”; a large cup of Sumatra Coffee with two shots of espresso. The “Jo” was the legendary brew of “All Nighters” and “Morning Afters” which kept the dorm lights burning in this Midwestern college “cow town”.
Everything about Tina back on the day of their meeting seemed so perfect, from the way her gauzy peach top landscaped her smaller, firm breasts to the way her black kaki’s clung to her “walker’s butt and legs”. James instantly realized that this girl had no concept of how beautiful she was. He decided then and there that it would be his mission in life to help her realize that fact. James had found a flower to nourish.
The early Midwestern days gone by, was the spring of their love. Those were days of uncertain beginnings. Together they broke the ground of adulthood. As the crocus and daffodils fearlessly, but cautiously break the snows of winters past, so their passion melted their individual experiences, as cold and disappointing as they had been rewarding them both a promise of a beautiful summer's garden.
Devotion had led to love, love had led to marriage, marriage; children, children to a slow disintegration of the unity of the two, who had become one. Two became one and then three and soon four and somewhere between the sports, academics, scouts and the work required to pay for the domestic bliss, Jim and Tina became Mr. and Mrs. James and Christina Dunn, then Mom and Dad, Father and mother and eventually strangers. As they became Empty- Nester's, what was lost was absent from their hearts as well as their home.
Otherwise time had been kind to the two of them, relatively speaking. Both were paunchier and slower but James could still see a glimpse of the buoyant Tina peeking from within Christina occasionally when her doe eyes still sparkled. Jim's hair was no longer golden or shoulder length, but just as full as when he was six years out of high school as was his heart although lately, harsh words spoken in anger easily obscured it from his wife's sight.
"She'd rather sleep with her anger than with me" Jim said again out loud to no one in particular as he tried to make sense out of their fractured life.
"It's gonna be a long night and a long cold winter". Jim pulled the woolen duvet up tight against the cold. As he tossed once more and hoped for the arrival of spring.
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